Smile
by RegenTaenzer
Summary: Four years after the Kira investigation, the world was still working on normalcy. Matsuda and Ide are called to do a surveillance operation, but something goes extremely wrong.


Ide sat, quietly reading the latest novel he had bought. Not only did he enjoy delving into a new world full of adventure, but it helped keep his mind off the soaring temperatures of the summer. His shirt had already been cast aside for comfort-- though it was almost uncomfortable enough that he would reconsider because he was not alone.

On the other hand, Matsuda had taken a different approach to beating the heat. This, of course, meant only that he was sitting in front of the air conditioner with a peeved look about him, dressed only in his boxers. If it were a few degrees cooler, he would have surely been all over the place. However, it was at the point that… well, nobody in their right mind would enjoy the weather.

It had been four years since the conclusion of the Kira case, and the normalcy of the pre-Kira world had already begun to develop further. Sure, there had been those that believed that Kira was merely taking a break, but the task force knew better. They could relax without worrying about Kira. Matsuda and Ide had decided to live together, although never particularly specifying why. In truth, it had been quite some time since the two had begun dating, so it was not at all a strange thing that they would decide to do such a thing. Nobody really cared to ask either, as they didn't need to be told.

Finding sitting around rather dull, Matsuda had decided to give up his air conditioner hogging ways, and head over to tease Ide. It was a past time of his that he rather enjoyed; besides, it was something to take his mind off of melting to death.

Coming from behind, the man snaked his arms over Ide's shoulders and down his chest. "Ide-san," Matsuda nuzzled his neck.

It was impossible to get used to Matsuda's inciting actions. Ide tensed, trying to control himself. It was already disgustingly hot, and he didn't need any extra heat produced. Instead, he tried to return his focus on his book; reading, perhaps, the same line over and over again.

Sensing that Ide was trying to not listen, Matsuda grinned impishly. Acting as though he thought that Ide weren't listening to him, he began chattering teasingly, "Too bad Ide-san has no sense of romance… All this hot and sweaty's really a turn on. But I guess he doesn't realize that because he's not experienced in love enough to take advantage of the fact that the both of us are half naked already!"

Ide cast a soured look at his lover before directing his attention back to his book. It was very hard to focus on the reading, even though it was an interesting book. It was too hot out for Matsuda to be pulling something like this, especially since its unpleasant to have someone hanging on you when you're already sweaty yourself. Standing, he moved to head somewhere else in the apartment to get some more of his reading done. It was difficult… Seeing as it was just an apartment.

Matsuda followed, unsatisfied with Ide leaving. Coming up from behind, he wrapped his arms around the other man's torso and, when Ide had stopped, he wrapped his leg around Ide's just a little in order to be a bit more provocative. His chin rested on the back of his lover's shoulder, "C'mon~"

He sighed, tilting his head up slightly and looking away in wishing his lover not pull this stunt. With his hand not carrying his novel, Ide tried to halfheartedly push away Matsuda. "Stop it, Matsuda. Its too hot."

Groaning, the rejected man pulled away and put his hand on his head. "You really know how to kill the mood, Ide-san."

"Sorr--" A familiar ringing interrupted the conversation; Ide's cellphone went off. Not having had it with him, it forced him to have to go and get it from the end table. Work.

After a brief conversation, Ide hung up the phone and sighed.

"Who was it?"

"Aizawa," Ide spoke as he put the cellphone into his coat pocket and began to get ready to go. "He needs us to come to a briefing on something. Surveillance."

"Me too, huh?"

Ide nodded. Although it was rather presumptuous of Aizawa to assume that he was with Matsuda at the given time, he understood why Aizawa would only bother making one call if the two of them were in the same place. After all, it would be silly to waste time and effort that way. Nevertheless, he wondered what kind of surveillance they would be doing. Most likely vehicular, but the subject changed time to time.

They couldn't argue against going; when you're in law enforcement, you're always on duty even if you are "off duty." That was the pain of it, but it was also something that made life interesting. You never knew when you'd be called in to do something. Though, being an investigator, you usually worked on your own timetable.

There was no conversation as the two made their trip over to headquarters. Ide felt anxious, and it made him feel even more so since he couldn't pinpoint why he was feeling the way he was. Something felt wrong, but he simply shrugged it off. It was normal to feel a little nervous if you had to go into a surveillance operation…

"We've received recent leads on the United Gunrunners Association." Aizawa winced at the idiotically blatant name of the organization, but continued the briefing regardless. "As such, we need to do some stationary surveillance of the building that an informant has told us that a transaction will take place. Mogi-san and Yamamoto-san have already done a preliminary investigation of the area. I would like Matsuda-san and Ide-san to be the eyes for two hours, while Mogi-san and Yamamoto-san act as backup on the next street over. After that time, if the transaction is not over by then, Mogi-san and Yamamoto-san should arrive at the location. Matsuda and Ide, wait a few minutes after that, leave and take your post as backup to reduce the chance of being burned. Should the gunrunners leave before those two hours are through, I would like Mogi-san and Yamamoto-san to tail them; and vice versa, should the switch have already occurred. Any questions?"

There were none, and Aizawa was confident in his subordinates' abilities. "Alright. The transaction is scheduled to take place at 7:23pm. Matsuda-san and Ide-san should arrive around 7:05pm to ensure that they may see who goes into the building. Mogi-san and Yamamoto-san should arrive at 7:20 at the latest." With that, the meeting was adjourned.

"Gunrunners, huh?" Matsuda seemed quite excited, grinning as he and Ide walked out of the room. "I love doing surveillance! Especially gun runners; I've never done surveillance on that!"

Still feeling rather anxious, Ide was hardly excited about having to do the surveillance. Being the eye was dangerous, especially because you were right on the scene and had to lay low or be seen. Gunrunners, too, were highly dangerous people. They were guaranteed to be highly armed, and the bet was off that they would be very friendly to law enforcement if they were heated up-- knew they were being watched. This was the biggest downside of law enforcement: it was dangerous.

However, he couldn't deny that Matsuda's enthusiasm eased his worried mind. There was just an … almost child-like optimism about the man that could just make the worst situation seem like there was a bright side to it. It was that, perhaps, which attracted him most to the seemingly carefree man. After working with him so long, it was impossible to imagine work without him. It wasn't something he'd admit so carelessly, but having Matsuda around made work pleasant.

There was some time to kill, so the duo simply drove around and stocked up on snacks and drinks they may want while working. That, and they made an effort to make sure they were familiar with the area they would be in. Bathrooms weren't readily available, but it would be tolerable to hold it for the two hours they were on surveillance if it became an issue; they would just have to go before they were on the job. Either way, they were prepared.

Pulling into a space that was appropriate for the job, the two sat back and watched. Ide, since he was in the passenger seat, was the designated to jot down notes as they observed.

It was a good thing, coming early, because the ones selling the illegal arms seemed to be early birds. They couldn't be blamed, as only made sense that they would be wary that something may go awry. It would be foolish not to expect criminal behavior from another criminal.

7:14pm - Suspected Gunrunners (SGR) arrive on scene; seem to be staking out area around building.

Matsuda watched intently, excited. However, he at least tried to act like he wasn't watching the two men that had arrived. Letting the target know they were being watched was a sure fire means to get burned-- found to be doing surveillance.

"Oh look!" Matsuda broke the silence upon seeing two more men arriving, noting the obvious. "Those guys that just arrived now, they must be the ones that are buying."

7:20pm - Unidentified White Male (UWM) and Unidentified Asian Male (UAM) arrive; speak to SGR and enter building.

With much of the action over for now, Ide sat back, handing the paper over to Matsuda so that he could initial also witnessing that which Ide wrote down. There wasn't much else to do now but wait for either the four men to leave or to be relieved of their post. Knowing that the wait would probably be pretty lengthy, he reached back to get something to drink from the back seat. "Do you want anything, Matsuda?"

For a moment, he pondered. "Yeah, I guess so. Could you get me some chips?"

He nodded, grabbing some chips along with the soda he had wanted.

"What is that guy doing..?" Matsuda remarked in confusion.

Curious of what Matsuda was so concerned about, he hurried back to sitting right in order to look. "I don't know. Isn't he one of the guys we saw go into the building? I guess he's just scouting again."

"Shit," Matsuda was losing nerve as the man started toward the car, focused.

It was rare he heard Matsuda curse, which was rather surprising. Yet, he couldn't dwell on that now. Did the gun runner see them? Had they been burned? A million questions rang in his head, and it was hard to stay positive. All he could do was quickly hide the equipment without looking suspicious, and get prepared for a potential confrontation.

A knock on the passenger-side window made both men sense that they were in a large heap of trouble and things could only get worse. Hesitantly, Ide rolled down the window. "I was wondering," the gun runner spoke with a sense of forced kindness and a thick American accent to his Japanese words.

"Yes?" Ide inquired as casually as he could. Matsuda was only able to watch on, as he wasn't directly in question yet. The gunrunner's attention was primarily on the passenger.

"Do you happen to have a pen..?"

It was a dumb question, but they didn't want to look suspicious. "Oh… Yes. Here." Ide surrendered a pen to the man, acting like it was no big thing.

"Thanks, man. You really saved me there," the foreigner gunrunner flashed a smile and walked off back into the building.

Matsuda exhaled a sigh of relief and sank in his seat once the gunrunner in question had left, "That was so close! I thought we were dead men for a second there!"

Despite the wave of relief that washed over him, Ide still was on guard. It felt like something was still out of place. Why would one come up to a car and ask for something as trivial as a pen? For all he knew, it could have just been the man trying to get a good look to see if the two were some sort of law enforcement watching them. In that case, they were burned before they knew they were. Ide didn't like the feeling of uncertainty that was gnawing at his mind.

Waving his hand dismissively, Matsuda grinned. "So about those chips?"

Ide handed the bag over, though quickly took to writing down what had happened in his log before calling it into headquarters along with Mogi and Yamamoto. Even if he was shaken up from almost being discovered--or perhaps already being discovered--he couldn't neglect the fact that he had to keep a log and notify his co-workers.

Time crawled by much like a wounded dog; there wasn't much going on and Ide was feeling more ill at ease with each fleeting moment. As it wound down, Ide couldn't help but count down to the point that he and Matsuda could get out of there. No matter what he did, he couldn't shake the bad feeling that he had been feeling ever since he found out about doing the surveillance.

"He's coming out again," Matsuda cocked a brow.

The same thing happened; a knock on the window, a flashy grin, that thick accent speaking so-so Japanese. "Ah! I was hoping you guys would still be here. I brought you your pen back…" Simultaneously, an angry look crossed his face as he drew a handgun and shouted in English, "You fuckin' fed pigs!"

The moment he saw the gun, Ide slammed the door open of the car to hit the man and cause him to fall off balance. He had hoped that it wasn't too late, even though he heard the gun go off and the sound of the bullet grazing his ear. He couldn't think, only do. As quick as he threw the door open, he was out and had the man on the ground and subdued and unarmed. "Matsuda! Call in!"

There was screaming, horrible screaming. The only time Ide had heard that voice screaming was the old yellow warehouse, but this was no angry or just plain fearful screaming. It was pain. Complete and utter agony meshed with a heavy fear and a guttural choking.

Heart racing and mind reeling, Ide quickly turned to see what was wrong. He quickly wished that he had not.

Blood was everywhere; his partner, his lover, his friend writhed as he clutched at his neck as it gushed blood. Not only that was that extraordinarily painful, but it was clear the man was suffocating on his own blood. It was neither a pretty sight, nor a pleasant sound.

Putting the man in handcuffs was the last thing that crossed Ide's mind. Quickly he reported on the radio, "Matsuda's been shot!" However, his true concern was coming to his lover's aid. "Matsuda! Matsuda!"

Matsuda couldn't focus; all he could do was frivolously try to hinder the bleeding while gasping to try and get some air amidst the suffocating blood. He couldn't be called, couldn't be reasoned with. All he could do was act on instinct. He could feel his energy being drained from him. The burning, stinging pain kept him awake, although he desperately wished he would just pass out to alleviate his pain so that the ambulance could come and save him and everything would be alright.

The blood was horrifying, even more so that it was coming so quickly and out of his lover. Its nearly impossible to steel yourself completely to the sight of blood, but harder to be alright with one so close to be bleeding their life away. Ide tried to help stop the bleeding, but it seemed like an unlikely endeavor to convince the shot man to remove his hands from the wound. Knowing this, he could only try and comfort Matsuda-- which didn't do too much good.

The sound of a wailing ambulance was a welcome one, however it was discouraging just how far away it seemed. Desperately, he prayed with all his heart that the ambulance would appear immediately as every second was one that was lost for good.

Matsuda had passed out from blood loss. The blood-curdling screams and whimpers had ceased, only to be replaced with a chilling silence. Ide could still feel a heartbeat, so it was comforting if nothing else could be. The sirens were closer, though Matsuda's vital functions seemed labored.

Ide thanked God as the ambulance pulled up. He didn't think to look and see if the criminals had escaped, as it was far more important that he see to it that Matsuda was taken by the EMTs and rushed off to the hospital.

He couldn't concentrate in the least, as all he could think of was the hellish scene he had witnessed. The blood. His helplessness. The pain and fear on Matsuda's face. Ide's stomach churned, threatening to force the contents out. He was shaken, and simply collapsed to sit down against the car.

The man who had shot Matsuda had long fled, leaving Ide now the only one on the scene until other officers showed up.

Mogi and Yamamoto arrived as soon as possible, only to find Ide sitting against the car next to the passenger seat with the door still ajar. He was a bloody mess if only for being soaked in another's blood, his head bowed, his arms resting loosely on his knees.

The two approached, Mogi kneeling to place a hand on Ide's shoulder as a supportive gesture. He didn't like sharing his emotions, but he did want to comfort a friend. Matsuda had been shot, and everyone was feeling terrible for him; yet, it was clear that Ide was taking it harder for more than just one reason. Not only did he see the horrific event, but he was the closest to the wounded man.

Glancing up without moving, Ide muttered, "I knew something was going to go wrong… I felt that it would."

Yamamoto frowned, "What?"

Ide's gaze turned intently upon the ground, "All along, I had a feeling that something was going to go wrong. If I had only just acted on that…"

"Its not your fault, Ide-san." Yamamoto shook his head, "You couldn't have known, and you did the best that you could to prevent it."

"It wasn't good enough."

What else could be said? All Yamamoto could do was shake his head. He felt for Ide, but there was nothing he could think to say to make the man feel better. "… Do you want us to take you to the hospital? We could go now."

Ide nodded. Although he was afraid to see what kind of shape Matsuda was in, he knew that it would be best for Matsuda if he were present. Besides, he wanted to make sure that his lover made it out of the situation alright.

Mogi stood along with Ide, helping him up. He locked the car and closed its door, just to ensure that there would be no tampering. It was just a habit, and didn't take long at all. It was easy to catch up with Ide and Yamamoto.

The car ride was dead silent, Ide sitting in the back simply staring out the window. The more he thought about what had happened, the less real it seemed to become. More and more, it became hard for him to believe and he was anxiously waiting to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

Once there, Ide was first to the reception desk. "What room can I find Matsuda, Touta?!"

"One moment please." The receptionist, used to panicked individuals, calmly checked the computer. What she found, she didn't like to say. Instead, she paged the attending doctor. "Please have a seat," she tried to smile.

Ide nodded, joining Mogi and Yamamoto in the seating area. He was anxious, wanting to know just what Matsuda's condition was. The images burned into his mind were awful, but it was at least vaguely comforting that Matsuda was somewhere that he could be taken care of.

A man walked into the reception room dressed in typical doctorial attire, looked about, and approached the group. He hated doing this; he hated being the bearer of bad news. "Are you the ones here to see Matsuda-san?"

Ide looked up from staring at the floor, "Yes? Is he alright? Is Matsuda alright?"

The doctor inhaled deeply, steeling himself for the news he was about to share.

"Well?" Ide was impatient. In normal circumstances, he would have been rather bothered by his behavior he was exhibiting; but right now, all he cared about was making sure that his lover was alright.

As an unconscious behavior, the doctor shook his head. "Matsuda, Touta passed in transit to the hospital… I'm truly sorry. The hospital provides counseling for--"

"What?! What did you say?" Hoping he had heard wrong, Ide was on his feet and had grabbed the doctor's shirt.

It was difficult for the doctor to look at the grieving man; it was horrible having to be the one to tell those who knew and loved a person that the person had died. "There was nothing we could do…"

Letting go of the other man, Ide's arms fell to his sides. His gaze was hollow and fixated on the ground, "… Can I at least see him?"

The doctor nodded, leading Ide to the hospital morgue. Yamamoto and Mogi stayed behind, feeling it would be better to allow Ide to go alone. After all, Ide probably wanted alone time to mourn. They weren't sure what he'd really prefer, but they'd leave it up to Ide. He'd have asked if he wanted them with him.

In the viewing room of the morgue lie a body on a table, covered by a white blanket with a white towel over the face-- just as protocol. It numbed Ide to behold, though it was not directly recognizable all covered up. He knew, through being told rather than actually approaching it, that this body was indeed his lover. "… Matsuda…" the man whispered to himself.

Despite his current feelings and knowing that it would only serve to upset him further, Ide entered the room and approached the body. Hesitating at first, he lifted the towel. Matsuda's face was revealed from beneath; it looked cold, clammy and lifeless-- all of which Ide could never remember Matsuda having been. Yet, it was clear that he'd been cleaned up a bit. It killed him to see the man in this manner. He knew that it would, but he couldn't help having looked. There was no reason he could come up with to justify needing to look, but he definitely regretted doing so.

Replacing the towel with a wince, he bowed to the doctor before leaving without a word. What else could he do? There was nothing he could say, and he no longer wanted to look about his deceased lover. It was far too painful.

He had Mogi and Yamamoto drop him off at home, figuring that Aizawa wouldn't expect him back in the office because of what had happened. It was, however, just as painful being back in the apartment: there was so much that easily reminded him of Matsuda.

Ide dropped into his chair, slumping. He knew it was detrimental, but he couldn't help thinking about Matsuda…

He regretted so much. Why did he have to turn down Matsuda just before? Why did he have to answer the phone? Why did he allow Matsuda to come and do the surveillance operation, even though he himself felt that something wrong may happen? Most of all… Why did he not react sooner? They had known that the man approaching the car was a gunrunner, and that he was obviously armed and dangerous. One of the worst mistakes was trusting that a criminal--of all people--would be kind and sensible to law enforcement officers he suspected to be following.

Matsuda was gone forever; Ide was crushed. Never again could he see the man, feel the man. He missed the playful teasing, as much as it had frustrated him when it had happened. He missed Matsuda's smell, his soft hair, gentle lips, the way he embraced, the way he kissed. His voice… That carefree nature that almost nothing could bring him down.

Ide would do anything, if he could only just see Matsuda again… But it was just far too late. There was nothing that could be done. Nothing that could be said that would change what had happened. He could wish, he could hope, but it wouldn't change anything. This was perhaps one of the worst possible realities he could come to, and it was all true.

It was terrible, the next few nights. Not only was he plagued with nightmares, but the bed felt so empty. It had become so commonplace to have Matsuda by his side, and so it was most obvious that he was gone. It was depressing; it had become a chore to come back to the apartment.

Work was no more pleasant than the apartment, and eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore. He wrote up his resignation letter, and approached Aizawa. Without a word, he held out the paper.

"What's this?" Aizawa took it and read it over. Looking back up to his friend and his subordinate, he frowned. "Ide, you can't be serious?"

He nodded, averting his gaze.

Although Aizawa didn't want to see his friend quit, there wasn't really anything that he could do about it. It hurt him, too, that Matsuda had been killed, but there was nothing they could do about it now except to catch the culprit and make him pay. Lacing his fingers together as he propped his arms up with his elbows, he closed his eyes to think. "How about you just take a while off to get yourself together again, and see how you feel then."

Ide shifted awkwardly, losing his nerve. "Alright."

Aizawa nodded, handing Ide back his resignation letter.

For the rest of the day, Ide simply sulked about. This had been the norm since Matsuda had died, and it was not something he could easily shake.

He had decided to take a walk around the park, taking a seat at a bench and just leaning back. Ide watched the clouds drift slowly by, consoling himself by thinking upon what each one reminded him of. However, this interested him only a short time before he got ready to move along.

Something bumped his leg, startling him and causing him to jump. Looking around to see what it was, he caught sight a small, dirty puppy darted a short distance away only to turn around and stare at him in a pathetic attempt at intimidation.

It was a black and ragged excuse for a cocker spaniel, and it was clear that it either lived on the street or had been lost for quite some time. By the look of it, it wasn't all too used to human contact but definitely had a sense of curiosity to go with its skittishness.

Ide got up and crouched down, a hand extended to the small creature. There was really no reason to do so, since he was sure the mutt was likely to just run off.

The puppy simply stared, cocking its head. Hesitantly, however, it moved forward and sniffed at the man's hand before plopping its butt down and looking up at him. Mouth agape in something of a happy manner, tongue lolling out.

The only thing he could do was gawk. The last thing Ide had expected was to be approached by such a dumb little creature, but he had to admit that it was somewhat amusing to behold.

Standing and straightening out his suit, Ide started to wander back to the apartment. Despite the chance encounter with some stray puppy, his day was still not going too well in his mind. Another day, the same old feeling crappy.

Stopping to unlock the door to his apartment, again the man felt something bump against his leg and a gnawing on his shoe. Irritated, he shook his foot without bothering to see what it was.

An indignant sort of barking erupted, to which Ide sighed and looked to the puppy. Once it realized his attention, it sat down hard once more and stared at him.

It was rather… unnerving being stared at with such inquisitive eyes-- eyes that were near impossible to refuse. But what the hell did it want? Food?

Based on this assumption, Ide headed in and decided to look for something to offer the small dog. He felt bad for it, figuring it for a lost dog or stray, so it was only right to give it a meal and hope it went on its merry little way and found its owner or someone else to bug.

The puppy followed him in, much to his hoping that it would not. With a sigh, he allowed it to follow him to the kitchen as he searched the fridge. He wasn't sure what dogs ate and didn't have much to offer, really, so he hoped that some leftovers would do the trick. The dog seemed pleased enough.

But he couldn't just let the dog stay here…

After the dog was through with the food, Ide lead it to the car and tried to get it in. It seemed confused, and not too willing to get in and stay. Still, there was nothing but the pound that he could think of. Perhaps it could find its owner--if it had one--or get adopted.

Although they weren't too happy that the dog was unleashed, the workers took the cocker spaniel in and scanned it for microchips since it did not have any tags. There weren't any, so they could only assume. The dog was put into the pound and was to be held to see if it was claimed, and to do tests to see if he were adoptable if it wasn't.

A few more days went by and nothing changed. Although still mourning the loss of his lover those, Ide couldn't stop wondering what in the world had happened to that puppy. Against his better judgment, he returned to inquire.

As it turned out, the puppy had not been claimed and thus could be adopted. Ide was unsure that he could offer the right amount of care for a dog, especially in the state he was in. But he couldn't help but feel a small bit better, seeing such a creature look at him they way it did. It reminded him… of Matsuda.

Again against his better judgment, he decided to adopt 'Ricki,' make a trip to the pet store to buy supplies and take him home.

Ricki would never replace Matsuda, but… he helped Ide along a little to manage.


End file.
